13 Treasures I Found When I Procrastinated Cleaned My Desk Instead Of Writing

Sometimes it’s nice to have a surprise

Bare Knuckle Writer

1. A Thousand Notebooks. I have a dedicated drawer just for blank notebooks, where I assume they spend all night fucking because there’s no way I bought this many.

2. Mysterious Notes. “P needs to kill the G.N.” “What if [scribble] was a cat-[scribble]?” “More blood.” And a long list of names, most of which are crossed out. I can only assume this is proof that I’m a mind-controlled government assassin.

3. This Thing.

12 Ladies Uh….

 

4. Four Pairs of Old Glasses. And two pairs of new ones. And that lens that popped out of my old prescription sunglasses. Not found: the sunglasses themselves. Can only assume they’ve become more pens.

5. A Flash Drive Labelled ‘The Tesseract’. This is either the emergency OS reload key I made back when my laptop betrayed me, or Marvel’s going to send a cease-and-desist to my desk drawer.

6. The Last Easter…

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